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Tuesday, 9 July 2013

6 Wrong Reasons To Start A Relationship


Have you ever seen someone in a relationship and just know he’s not going to make it? I’ve been seeing that since childhood. It’s but normal to see people moving on and on from one side of the angle to another with the aim of meeting a rightful match someday.

Most of the situations I’ve examined, people keep switching not because of their desires but highly due to wrong choices. When I see someone behaving in this pattern (switching partners), it wouldn’t take that long before I see something wrong.

Many times, people feel the need to have a relationship without any focused plan in mind but based on the present conditioning. For example, if a person feels that he’s lonely probably due to absence of friends or closed associates, the tendency that he’d be prompted to dive into a relationship is high; thinking it to be true love. Looking at it from a direct perspective, it isn’t love. He just needed a companion and that’s why the relationship soon wares off when he returns to his previous state of mind/funkiness.

Many people unconsciously work in this track. Instead of examining what they need, they just skip that thought and dive to seek out solutions in many other ways like drinking, relationship etc. If they were smart enough they would have known that what they needed isn’t love nor drink.

6 wrong reasons to start a relationship

I decided to come up with this article because of my resent research on the high increased number of breakups around the world. I discovered that the reason most couples break up highly depends on their purpose behind the relationship. The below mentioned are some of the wrong reasons to start a relationship:

intimate desires: Sex addiction is when someone assumes he can’t do without sex and decides to jump into a relationship in order to satisfy this intimate desire. I don’t see anything wrong in a young person exercising such desire, but therein lies two big problems: The first is that when he gets into the relationship, he’d likely harass his mate sexually. And secondly, the whole thing never goes anywhere when sex is the foundation. This is because, when sex wares off, the relationship also terminates just like that.

Relationship as a means of comfort: Another wrong reason is when people hide under the cover of relationship to seek some kind of satisfaction. For example, if someone lacks the company of friends or parents probably because he traveled to another city for education, the probability that out of loneliness), he’d find comfort in the girl next door is high, right? For the time being, everything seems perfect. The only problem with this kind of relationship is that it goes nowhere since it was built on pure loneliness and it’s certain one day he’d go back to his comfort zone.

Relationship as a medium of comparison: This mostly happens with young people where one tries to compare with the other in terms of relationship and partner. This forces the other friend to persuade a better one in order to respond back. This reasoning pattern hinders relationship growth since it makes no sense to be with someone just to boast to others.

Relationship and external pressure: Another aspect which can force a person to start a wrong relationship is the thought of old age. This aspect causes many young people to panic or feel some degree of anxiety to marry. Coupled with pressure from friends, family members and the ideal of, you’re not getting any younger force people to make up their minds. The only problem with this is that most of them hurry and make just the wrong decision.

The fear of never getting married: This has to do with societal conditioning, which suggests that you ought to be married with kids by the age of probably x. This thought also affects the selection process causing a sense of desperation to dive in marriage. This can contribute to choosing the wrong match.

The wrong match: Another reason behind this maybe when a person finds a better match for himself and later is discouraged by external forces such as friends, family members, or parents, not recommending the partner but instead proposing someone else. I don’t know if this still happens, but it really doesn’t make sense to date someone based on somebody’s recommendation. Relationship is all about pure love, deep feelings, and commitments. So I see no way someone can express these qualities if he doesn’t love you.

How to start a real relationship

The six wrong reasons to start a relationship stated above are the main reasons why out of 100%, only about 36% managed to survive successfully.

This therefore means that, in order to have a successful relationship, you must avoid such steps. Build your relationship based on genuine love, commitment, and free from the influence of other people. You’re the one to make that choice, so go ahead and make it.

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